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Cons of Adoption

Find the drawbacks and cons to adoption programs. If you're looking into adoption or foster care you should be aware of these issues surrounding the adoption debate.

Some people want to have a child so badly that they think that once they get a baby or child, life will be complete and perfect.  Having children through adoption or otherwise is definitely wonderful but it is full of challenges and adoption is no different.  Some adoptions go very well and some cause people to get hurt or to have problems for a very long time.

First and foremost all parties involved need to have the interest of the child be the priority.  This will help people stay focused and not let their own wants or needs take place of what is good for a child. 

Birth mothers and prospective parents need to decide if they are going to do private or open adoption.  Some birth mothers may have the ability to give their child to a loving home and still keep in touch without needing to be demanding or very “hands on”.  Other birth mothers may think that they are okay with this but over time may want more than the adoptive family is ready to give.  This can be tricky because people change and what they want can change.  This goes for both the birth mother and the adoptive parent.  While open adoption can be great for the child it can have it's complications and everyone involved has to think about what they can handle.  If there is contention between the birth mother and the adoptive parent(s) this is not good for the child. 

Closed or private adoptions can be hard for people as well.  This can be very hard for a birth mother.  It means that she hands over her baby to someone she doesn't really know and has to trust that the baby is in a good place.  This can also mean that the adoptive parent may have limited information about the child's medical history or other vital information.  For the adopted child this can be very difficult as many adopted children have identity issues.  Some children feel as though they were bad and that is why they were “given away” or they think that they were not loved or wanted.  As the child becomes older it can become more important for them to know where they came from, who they look like, where they got some of their traits, what their medical history is and other questions.

Adoptive parents also need to weigh the pros and cons of international adoption compared to domestic adoption.  It may be faster to do an international adoption (less waiting time) but the adoptive parent may know absolutely nothing of the birth parents.  International adoptions rarely have a contract between the birth parent and the adoptive parent.  This option can also be very expensive.

Domestic adoption can be rough because the wait times can be hard and the cost can be high.  There are also some requirements that you may have to meet as far as home inspections and other factors.

Every party involved needs to get educated about the long term repercussions of their choices and try to make the best possible one for themselves and the child to be adopted.  All situations are different and what may be good for one family is not right for another. 

Related Article: Pros of Adoption >>

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